Dear Ella and Molly,

Tonight was a nutty night. Today was a nutty day. But on two occasions I saw things that I want to remember forever. The other things that happened today can disappear from my brain forever…that’s fine. But these two things capture who you are right now and I am forever falling in love with the people you continue to evolve into.
As I was making dinner tonight and Daddy was loading the van to run to the dump I watched you, Molly, run in and out of the house. At one point I walked by the window in the eating area and glanced out at the stone wall. There you were sitting on the wall with Oreo by your side. You were petting him and talking to him. Oh I what I wouldn’t give to know what you were saying to him…I would guess it included you calling him “lil buddy.” And as I stood there I watched you dance around the lawn, spinning and jumping, only stopping to sit further down the wall to pet Oreo again. You are a sparkly, bubbly, little soul and I think that your energy will only continue to dazzle me in the years to come.

And then at dinner…we had all sat down and after the bustle of the dishing out of food, I stopped to breathe and take a look at you all. Ella, my dear, when I looked at your beautiful face something made me stop. Your bangs..what was up with your bangs? I said this a few times and you repeated over again…nothing. But Daddy looked at them and I looked again and you cried. You had cut your bangs. All by yourself, upstairs in your room…right before dinner. I wasn’t mad. i thought it was funny and as your dad and I exchanged looks and giggles you cried with the embarrassment of being caught in a little lie. With that I feel more in love with the person you are trying on and trying out and I just know the final product will be nothing but dazzling.

I love you both.
Your Momma

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Rock Star Birthday Party

Party=Success!
Rock Star Cake Decorators…

The final product…

Some of the Rock Stars…

I never knew how much kids liked watching other kids open presents. It is very cute…

This is Chloe-one of Ella’s best friends…can you stand how excited she is for Ella to open her present? Her mom told me that before she put the heart in the bear she built for Ella-she kissed it. Such love.

With the said bear…

So much for me moving the theme away from Hannah Montana…

Ella and Natalie and her POSTER! So excited.

Off to gather with the Nasons at New Castle Commons-wow what a beautiful weekend! Hope you all are enjoying the days, as well!

Where I have been…

I have no clue where I have been. Time is passing and I know I am busy, but at the end of the day I have nothing to say about the whole thing. I have had many family and friends contact me and I have not responded. I stink. But seriously, I have had NOTHING to say. My brain just seems to be on overload. So please forgive me.

So here it is Saturday morning. And we are busy getting ready for Ella’s ROCK STAR birthday party.
Guitar Cake-Check. Decorating that in a minute…

Tie-Dye kit and shirts-Check
Loads of loud instruments and microphones-Check
Bracelets, scarves, necklaces, and wigs-Check
A new Boom Box and some CDs to listen to-Check

AN Ella ROCKS sign-Totally Check and Totally AWESOME!

After the birthday party, we are zooming over to the Lambert’s for a party. SO it is a party day! Love to all of you and again sorry if I have not been present in the internet or phone world, but please know-YOU are all present in my heart. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

Familiar Places.

For one amazing year in my late 20s I had the chance to live in a house on New Castle Island in New Hampshire. New Castle Island is linked by causeway and bridge to Portsmouth and it is filled with both beautiful historic, quaint homes and huge McMansions. It’s narrow roads run along with the water and everywhere you look there is something interesting or beautiful to see. The house we lived in had a big picture window in the dining room that looked out over the river and at night you would be surprised by huge ships slipping by quietly. My absolute favorite part of being there was the lovely walk through winding streets to the Great Island Commons park and beach. If you ever come to visit-remind me to take you there. Because since moving to Maine, I forget that it is there.

Yesterday, the girls and I slipped into Portsmouth with little difficulty and had a yummy lunch at the Friendly Toast. This beautiful, tall woman was our hostess and she looked so familiar to me. And I to her, apparently because she greeted me warmly and by name. Damn—but quickly with a reminder of what her name is, times of Steve and I-childless and newly in love sipping coffee at Caffe Kalim came rushing over me and she was there serving us coffee and being adorable. It was lovely to see her and the girls seemed just as in awe of her and her casual, effortless ways. Some people are like that aren’t they? They probably don’t trip on their own shoes when they are walking down the hall…not that I do that.

After we “ran” into Runner’s Alley and got my new running shoes we walked back to the car. It hit me suddenly on that beautiful day that we should NOT go home. We were going to go to the park. Molly rejoiced about the idea…Ella cried. But I was not going to be stopped…they will have FUN damnit.

And when we pulled into the park and Ella saw the playground and the water and the boats and the rocks, I think her exact words were—“ooooohhhhhhhhhh”. At that point, things just felt perfect. The air felt like it was perfectly synced with my body temperature. The kids played like best friends. And memories of friends, boys who came in and out of my life, one boy who stayed in my life ;), and that year played through my mind over the hours. It was so fun.

We all rolled back into the van, sun-kissed and satisfied, ready to head home and play with the Randalls.

I am having a moment…

This morning started off feeling sad and blue because Steve is gone until Sunday night and we had a full week of seeing each other on two mornings for 5 minutes and 3 mornings…not at all. Strangers in the night is our current theme song. However, a couple things have happened to turn that frown upside down.

1. We remembered that today is Ella’s first dance class of the year! Miss Tippity-Tap can tap her heart away for a full hour today. YEAH!

2. The Randalls are father-less too so we are going to gather for dinner and Deb is going to take my kids tomorrow so I can run! YEAH!

3. I am going to take the girls out to lunch and then I am going to get new running shoes…YEAH!

4. I have this pair of jeans that I LOVED when I met Steve. They made my butt look good and felt so good on. After Ella-they have lingered in my closet gathering dust…This morning for the fun of it I pulled them on and I CAN BUTTON THEM!!! YEAH! Still a little uncomfortable but they used to resist going over my hips and I laughed at the thought of buttoning them! YEAH!!!!

and last but NOT least…

5. I made an actual dinner this week that was delicious and I even pulled out my Angry Chicken Book and re-read the directions for the Lap Quilt…thinking I will make two for the girls for Christmas. YEAH!!!!

Happy Weekend-Enjoy the sun!