Women Folk

I am not sure that I am going to be able to totally express my thoughts accurately here.  But this topic has been circulating around my life for the past three months so I am starting to see some need to write about it.  It all started to come to light when I was invited to join Sarah on the Breast Cancer Walk.  Quite honestly, the thought of spending three days with a group of women haunted and worried me as I approached the actual event.

I was one of those girls growing up who hit a wall with girlfriends and decided guys were much easier and more fun to hang out with on a regular basis.  Right or wrong, it is what it is and primarily, my best friends from college are guys.  And oddly enough those friendships have lasted longer then any friendships I have had with women.  One friend, in particular, I am in contact with fairly regularly and regard him as someone I ALWAYS want to know about and be in touch with.  I think I knew that right away about him.  He and his wife are expecting their first baby and I just know he is going to be an AWESOME dad.  So my point being that I think guys and girls can be friends and good ones at that.

And isn’t it funny that I married a guy, who has always had a lot of girl friends.  I am not sure where I am going with that but I find it interesting anyway.

At one point I was so sure that I could not have good relationships with women, I hoped that I would only have male children because I thought that I would not be able to even relate with girls if I had one. I have one fabulous girlfriend who I have gone through so much with and I treasure her more than she probably knows.  We are entering our 9th year (?) of friendship and I have never worked harder at maintaining this relationship after I have let it wither so often.  I am thankful that she forgives me so often for my horrible friend ways.  Now, if you don’t believe things happen for a reason, how amazing that I have not one but TWO daughters.  And something miraculous has happened with their birth and life.  I have come to value and treasure the AMAZING beings that women are.

As I stood looking around during the closing ceremony of the Breast Cancer walk, I felt overwhelmingly PROUD to be a woman.  I had an incredible weekend and felt only positively about the women I met and spent an crazy amount of time with laughing, singing and talking.  Looking at the present, this situation has presented itself to me in work.

I run a Girls’ Book Club at school with the Librarian.  Our last book was despised by all and it was amazing to hear the girls talk about hating the stereotypical girls that were portrayed in the book.  They shared with us how they are so much more complex and yet so much more simple then the characters in the book.  It was a fabulous discussion.  But one girl, who happens to be one of the girls I am rooting for in life, talked about how she just likes boys better than girls.  I heard my own words and thoughts coming out of this 12 year old.  I found myself telling the girls how lucky we are as women to be able to have the drama, the love, the laughter and really we need to try to remember how special women friendships are.

Last night, I hosted my second annual cookie swap.  I know, it is so flippin’ girly. Last year there were 4 of us, this year there were 7.  All women!  And what fabulous women at that.  At one point I was looking around at them and felt so proud to have each and every one of them in my life.  We are all so different, but all grounded with a lot of common experiences.  Not so different after all.  After everyone left, I couldn’t stop smiling.  As I take inventory of the people that are important to me and help define my world, I am amazed to realize the number of women are increasing in that list.  And I am so happy to be showing my girls that women can be friends in very honest, happy, healthy ways.

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5 thoughts on “Women Folk

  1. ally says:

    Ugh, god, I spent at least half my life HATING women. I have maintained one female friend since grade school and thats Bekah. All my friends from college, with the exception of two women I met senior year, have been men (albeit one turned out to be gay but hes a very manly gay man). As an adult I am proud to say I now have three close female friends here in Cali that I have managed to keep pretty close. Its one of my greatest accomplishments in 24 years. I feel sorry for that 12 year old you were talking about, because I remember being 12 and how horrible life felt sometimes. One could not pay me enough to go back. However, if I could stay 24 forever…I could gladly do that!!!

  2. ally says:

    PS- its kind of ironic to dislike women considering my Mom has such feminist feelings. Weird how that turned out huh? And also weird how I can dislike other women but still want to fight for our rights…hmmm…interesting dichotomy to explore there

  3. i’m friends with both dudes & chicks, but i think more women. now after reading this, i’m trying to figure out why. but probably one of the best periods (heh heh) of my life as far as bonding and laughing my ass off was working in an all-women office at BUST.

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